After doing some serious self-reflection, I realized that I wasn’t entirely pleased with everything I saw in myself. When I look back on this year, I saw that I may have misjudged certain people and activities based on things that I’ve heard about them. For example, I used to think negatively about going to parties and chalked them up to be mindless and stupid. While some of them very well may be just that, I realize that it was wrong for me to generalize every party and every person that likes to go to parties. To be honest, they can actually be really fun if you go into them with a positive mindset!

The same goes with people. When you hear stories about certain people, you can perceive them to be some type of way, when it may not even be true. It’s easy and instinctual to judge people based on the first thing you hear about them, but if you look a little deeper, you realize that everyone has been through different experiences that have influenced their decisions. Once I started to accept people for who they are and not merely dismiss them based on who I thought they were, I realized that I really enjoyed spending time with them!

The truth is that you probably won’t see eye to eye with everyone, and that’s ok. We all look at things differently due to many different factors: how we were raised, what type of personality we have, and what our personal values are. But that doesn’t mean that we should dismiss someone or something just because we think that it won’t be a fit for us. Sometimes, the most exciting and memorable experiences come out of spur of the moment decisions with people that you’d never thought you’d be hanging out with, while doing things you never imagined you would be doing. This past year, I spent a lot of time alone in my room instead of capitalizing on opportunities that could have been exciting and maybe even life-changing. I now plan on taking advantage of the things that come my way, because I know that they could lead me in a direction that could potentially change my life for the better.

Like I mentioned in my first resolution, we’re not always going to see eye to eye with everyone we become friends with. Sometimes, people mistreat us without even realizing that they’re doing it, because we never expressed to them that what they did bothered us. If I was ever hurt by something that a friend did to me, I would keep it bottled up inside out of fear of confrontation. I now realize that this probably did more harm than good.

You have no obligation to put up with bad behavior from someone who is close to you, but if you want to salvage the relationship, it’s best to openly communicate with them, even if it seems scary to do so. A lot of times, people act out because they’re in pain in some sort of way. If you express to them that what they’re doing is bothering you, they may let down their guard and let you know why they’re really mistreating you. If they’re a real friend, they’ll work on changing their behavior. If not, then you have no right to stay around and be mistreated by someone who is supposed to lift you up and bring positivity into your life.

It’s hard to think rationally sometimes when someone close to you is making you feel badly about yourself. But at the end of the day, we’re all trying our best on this earth. Your first instinct may be to act out of anger, but approaching the situation calmly and respectfully will give you the best results in restoring some positivity in the relationship. You don’t have to be a doormat and let people walk all over you. You deserve to have positive people in your life that want the best for you, as you do for them.

3. Do One Thing I Love Every Day

What sets your soul on fire? I’m not talking about something that merely gets you through the day, but something that you feel so connected to that time just seems to zip by every time you do it. Sometimes you actually have to sit down and think about what it is that you really like to do, but trust me when I say that it’s worth it to do so.

This year, I found myself at a crossroads. I realized that I kept pouring myself into different activities, majors, schools, and people in the hopes that something would finally make me happy. What I was really doing was ignoring my personal desires and focusing on what I “should be doing” by society’s standards. I lost myself to the point where I had to make a list of everything that I genuinely enjoyed doing, and things began to change for the better once I figured out my true passions.

You don’t have to establish your dream career in one day to be happy. Happiness is not an end destination, it’s something we should make sure we seek out every single day, even if it’s by doing something small or mundane. When you really pinpoint what it is that makes you feel amazing, you should try to incorporate that into your life in some form every day, because when you’re doing something you love and putting that positive energy out into the universe, it will be reciprocated right back to you. For example, I love to write. I feel as though it is one of my biggest passions in life. So I’m making it a priority to write about topics that excite me on this blog, and I’m planning on publicizing more of my work during school next semester. I believe that if you’re genuinely connected to something, people will take note of that. You’ll be delighted to see how many doors open for you when you spend time doing whatever it is that you absolutely love. And it’s also fun!

4. “Re-Write My Stories”

I recently picked up the book You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero as a spur of the moment decision in the Target book section, and I’m glad I did. In chapter 17, she encourages the reader to “re-write the stories” that they’ve created for themselves subconsciously, without even realizing that they’ve become their reality. You know those one-liners you always find yourself saying to other people because you believe that they’re true? Whether it be “I never go out on dates” or “I’m bad at small-talk” or “I’m always late,” those phrases hold more meaning than we may even realize.

I would always consider myself to be very unconfident. When I would enter a classroom, my workplace, or any public setting in general, the words that ran through my mind were “I’m probably not as good as the other people in this room.” How depressing, right!? It’s taken a lot of work to re-write this story that has become the running theme in my life for the past few years, but by making a conscious effort to work on it, I’ve seen incredible results. Instead of thinking that I’m not worthy of being somewhere, doing something, or talking to someone, I instead have flipped the phrase to say “I deserve to be here,” and the more I think it, the more it starts to become the truth.

It’s funny how our perceptions of ourselves became our realities, because for someone else, the same meaning may not even hold true. You could think that you are unconfident, unlucky when it comes to love, or bad at sports, but to someone else, you could be amazing. When I told my mom that I felt so unconfident, she didn’t even realize that it was an issue for me, because her perception of me was so different than it was for myself. The point is that, even if you believe that you’re stuck with some label that you’ve placed upon yourself, it’s never to late to change it. You’d be surprised at how many people see you in a positive light, and you deserve to think about yourself that way, too.

5. Give Back to Other People

Do you ever think of a compliment that you want to give someone but then chicken out just as you’re about to say it? I’ve done that a lot in the past out of sheer insecurity. But whenever I receive a compliment from someone, I know that it brightens my entire day. Sometimes, the smallest of gestures can make a monumental impact on someone’s life. My goal is to not overthink potential compliments too much and just say them, because you never know how much the other person may need that extra boost of confidence.

The Mental Health Foundation suggests that doing a good deed actually makes you feel better in return. Whether it be going out of your way to hold a door for someone, donating money to a charity every month, or volunteering for an organization that speaks to you, doing something positive can give you some serious mental health benefits in return. My goal for the upcoming year is to make it a habit to do more acts of kindness, because I know that everyone involved benefits from them.

6. Spend Less Time Online

I realize that a lot of my time this year was spent scrolling though Twitter, perusing through Facebook posts, and watching endless streams of Youtube videos. I think that social media can be a great way to learn something new, catch up on news, and seek out entertainment, but I now think that it’s best when used in moderation. After spending an excessive time online, I feel like I lose sight of my own opinions because I’ve been completely immersed in what other people think. I would go on my laptop for hours every night, until one day, when I realized that I wasn’t even enjoying what I was doing. Sometimes, we do things so often that they become habitual, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re a positive addition to our lives.

While I don’t plan on eliminating social media and the Internet completely, I’ve recently been cutting back drastically, and I’ve noticed that my life has been changing for the better. I don’t feel like I’m comparing myself to what other people are doing as much, which can become problematic when you spend hours each day scrolling through Facebook. I’ve decided to set limits for myself to check social media once during the middle of the day, so that I’m not being stimulated by it so frequently. I’ve been reading, meditating, and writing at night before I go to bed instead of going online, and I feel like it’s a great way to wind down at the end of the day. In 2018, I plan to continue limiting my time online so I can truly enjoy the people, places, and activities that bring joy to my life every single day.

Wishing everyone happiness, health, and love in the New Year!