A Year Full of Lessons, As Told By My Journal

When people say that a lot can change in a year, they’re not kidding. Think about it – how different do you feel now than you did exactly one year ago at this time? As the holidays wrap up and thoughts of the new year are on the horizon, we tend to categorize the past year into major milestones. Maybe you started a new job, maybe you had a life-changing travel experience, or maybe you just simply redecorated and switched up your immediate surroundings. Whatever changes may have occurred, we tend to focus on those big moments, and often commemorate them with a photo or Facebook post. But, when you really think about it, how many of the moments that have changed your life started out as mundane or maybe even underwhelming?

I believe that keeping a journal is a fabulous indicator of time (when I remember to write in it, of course). To help illustrate just how beneficial the smallest, most seemingly insignificant moments in our lives may be, I’ve decided to share some lessons I’ve learned throughout 2018 by complimenting them with an entry from my journal. As I look back at what I chose to write about, I can clearly see how my headspace has changed as I’ve faced different life experiences. Sometimes, looking back at the advice you gave your former self can still be useful now, or, with new experience under your belt, you can even improve upon what you once thought.

Here is A Year Full of Lessons, As Told By My Journal:

1. Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back From Starting Something New

As I’ve previously mentioned, I took a semester off of college during my junior year, and decided to return back to school in the beginning of 2018. In this journal entry from January, I’ve captured my thought process before making this daunting leap:

“I’ve been home for four months, and I feel like a new person. I’m better – physically, emotionally, and mentally. I’m a little nervous to embark on this adventure, but it wouldn’t be right if I wasn’t. I’ll miss home, but I’m excited for what’s ahead. I’m coming back with a fresh perspective on life. I want to form good relationships with those around me. I want to have fun. I want to expand my knowledge.

It’s time for me to live.”

As you can see, I felt a great mix of emotions: excitement, fear, hope, but, most importantly, an underling belief that I could do it. It’s normal to have a mix of chaotic emotions before starting a new chapter in your life, or in my case, returning to an old one with a fresh perspective. If you know that you’re making the right choice, don’t let fear hold you back from living out your dreams.

2. We’re All Works In Progress

When my spring semester came to a close in May, my mind had wandered far from that first journal entry back in January. I became established in my routine at school and had been loving the new, positive additions to my life there. I sought out adventure, met a plethora of new people, and discovered more about myself than I ever had before. However, that didn’t mean that I didn’t face any new challenges. While navigating tricky situations with other people, I would sometimes question which person was in the wrong. Here is what I concluded back in May:

“We’re all on separate journeys and learn at our own paces. I’ve struggled with being very black and white when it came to relationships. If somebody’s actions had upset me, I would consider dropping them out of my life completely. I now realize that this isn’t the most effective way to handle things. The truth is, we’re all going to f*** up at some point. We all have our own quirks that could lead us into problems in our interpersonal relationships. It’s important to really gauge how much that encompasses that person as a whole…I look at myself and know of my flaws and personal hardships, so how would I feel if someone decided not to give me a chance because of them? I think that there should be a healthy balance between giving people a chance, but not letting them mistreat you. Communicate with people if they’re bothering you. Give yourself permission to take some personal time if someone is becoming too much. Take care of yourself first, but don’t completely cut out those that are also just trying their best. Have compassion for both yourself and others.”

It’s perfectly normal to question the presence of the people in your life. You want to surround yourself with the most wonderful people possible; people who bring out the best in you and make your life exciting. I’ve realized this year that anyone who doesn’t fill that role for you should be kept at arms-length.

3. Personal Growth is Sometimes Painful Before It Improves Your Life

This past summer, I had the privilege of studying abroad in Italy for a month. Knowing that this country would be brimming with beauty, culture, and passion, I was nothing less than excited to embark on my journey overseas. What people don’t tell you about traveling abroad for an extensive period of time is that, just because you’re in a beautiful place, it doesn’t mean you’re completely immune to less-than glamorous emotions. When I first arrived in Italy, I experienced culture shock unlike anything I’d ever felt before. It took some time to adjust to my surroundings and find my footing, but once I did, I realized that I had gained some valuable life skills that I reflected upon here:

“I’ve really seen such great growth in myself over the course of this trip. I left America being somewhat indifferent. I wasn’t really sure what to expect. Upon my arrival, I went through such a whirlwind of emotions. Quite honestly, I was so overwhelmed by the strenuous travel and exposure to new people that it all went to my head, and I wished I could just go home. Today, about halfway through the trip, I can say I’m glad I’m still here. Even if things seem like they genuinely suck, the possibility of things getting better, even in the smallest of ways, is enough to persevere. Maybe things don’t always turn out the way we expect them to in life, but maybe this leaves room for even better things to take place. Also, when times are hard, this really makes you appreciate when things are good…at the end of the day, make sure you are pursuing the activities you want to pursue, and everything will fall into place.”

The joy that I envisioned feeling while in Italy did occur: I saw the most beautiful of sights, ate decadent food, and lost myself in a culture completely unique to my own. But, the feelings of fear, loneliness, and confusion I also felt at times were still valid. I’ve learned that those feelings will come and go throughout life, but learning how to cope with them is the key to finding solace. Once the storm passes, you realize just how bright and inviting the world can be when you see it through a new lens.

4. Knowing Your Worth Takes Time, But Will Change Your Life

This past fall semester marked the beginning of my final year of college. With advice to “enjoy the moment while it lasts” and questions of what my future holds coming at me left and right, I started off feeling confused. Each of those sentiments impose a lot of pressure on students, because how could anyone possibly enjoy the current moment while simultaneously preparing for the newness that lies ahead? Once I got further into the semester, my initial fear changed into a sense of serenity. I realized that, yes, my time in college would soon be coming to a close, but that I was also incredibly excited to show the world everything I’ve learned once I graduate. This is what I wrote in my journal as the semester came to a close:

On confidence:

“The truth is that if you appear confident, then people will believe it to be true. So you might as well choose to carry yourself with diplomacy and confidence, because people don’t even suspect that you could feel the opposite way on the inside.”

On love:

“Being alone is our most natural state of being. We can only truly flourish when we understand ourselves – when we can bear the pangs of loneliness, make our own decisions, and find happiness in the love we give to others each day. Love is magical, rare, and euphoric. Don’t discount your life just because you haven’t found it yet. Because, you will soon.”

On believing in yourself:

“There is no competition, despite what we’ve been conditioned to believe. If you know that you’re proud of what you’re doing, then what everyone else is doing is irrelevant. Being ‘better’ than someone else won’t matter unless you believe in yourself first. You’ll hear a million different opinions from a million different people – but what do you think?”

Knowing your self-worth, at any stage of your life, can open up so many new doors. With the limited amount of time we have on this earth, why wait to show the world what you’re passionate about? Believe in what you’re good at, because the world needs to see it.

Reflecting back on my writing has given me glimpses into the experiences that have shaped my entire year. 2018 was a good one, but it wouldn’t be so without the lessons I’ve gained from the bad times. Whether they be positive, negative, or simply mundane, write down your experiences, and keep them close to your heart. You never know what scribbled-down line in your journal can spark an idea that can change your life for the better.